Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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