I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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