dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My balls are so social today.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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