I wish life had little blips of pornography
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
