my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
