OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just wanna soil my oats bro
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
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