so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
