I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's rum buckets o'clock
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
