What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
