Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
