I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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