"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
COCAINE IS GR8
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
