i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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