Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
