dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
