Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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