Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If its not for food we ain't going out.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
