we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
