She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Fuck appropriateness.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
