ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
