I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
