just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
