Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
