Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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