you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
