i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
