u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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