Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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