My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
