she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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