you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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