Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
