party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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