apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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