If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
