In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
