Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
