i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
