I think my vagina is haunted
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
