Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I want to fling myself into the sun
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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