Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
