i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
A+ Viking dick
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
