i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
