i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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