i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
