So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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