so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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