You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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