woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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