Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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