I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
