My friends, they love my intelligence
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
