Already got asked if we're dating
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
