i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
